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Malcolm Boyden's Sayins. (Former BBC Radio WM presenter)
Here is a list of some of the phrases Malcolm Boyden had
used on Radio WM and their meanings (as we understand them,
anyway)
Rough as a goats� knee
Feeling or looking a bit �under the weather� - from the
fact that goat�s kneel down when eating, making the skin on
their knees pretty rough.
Face like a trod on chip
An angry, possibly sad person could be said to resemble this -
i.e not a pretty sight
I�ve got to go like greased weasel droppings...
Usually said when he has been cankin� (talking, although I
think it should be cantin� - I�ll have to ask Dr Carl Chinn
when he�s back off holiday) to one of the Boyden Babes for
longer than he intended. Meaning to move very quickly indeed -
it conjures up a fascinating picture in your mind though,
doesn�t it?
Coming out of both end's
A person who is very nervous (often said to a Boyden Bride's
mother on a Saturday).
Tears running down yer trouser legs
A person in a very excited state (usually said to the Boyden
Bride on a Saturday)
All over the place like a pair of mad woman's drawers
Presumably, if you were a Mad Woman, you would be �all over
the place� and providing you were wearing them, so would your
drawers
It�ll end in Carnage...
Usually said if the Babes are getting a bit out of hand on the
�phone lines, or Eileen gets her two penn�orth in!
In & out like a dog at a fair.
This would apply to you if you were rushing around trying to do
10 things at once and had to keep going from one to the
other.
Don�t know if you�re in the Co-op or the Home & Colonial
Similar to the above, but denoting confusion. e.g. don�t know
if you�re coming or going.
I�ve got a tongue as dry as a holidaymakers flip-flop
I�m very thirsty, usually directed at �Fi-Fi the Human
Fly� or �Loose Wheel� the long suffering backroom girls,
and combined with �I�ve got a throat as dry as a lime
burners clog� when Malc needs a drink.
It�s the tekkin� part as counts
Winning is not important -it�s the one phrase Boyden Babes
don�t want to hear, as if Malcoms saying this to them, they
haven�t got into the box or haven�t come out of the box and
won the �Legendary Magical Minute� - his new competition to
win your very own Boyden Lunchbox.
Up & down like a merryman�s backside
How could I forget this one? Slightly dubious origins (oo-er
missus!) but another slant on the �doing lots of things at
once� front. Thanks to Darren Caldicott for pointing that
one out! Cheers!
I�m sweatin� like a glass blower�s backside
Continuing the Nether regions� theme (seems to be a lot of it
about) a topical one what with all this weather we�ve been
having lately - and is Malc�s usual rejoinder to anyone who
mentions that they are hot.
Brummie Slang
From the early 90's Until early in 2004 he presented his
own afternoon radio show which had an enormous following in the
West Midlands. He is a double Sony award winning radio presenter
and a successful actor, his most recent role being the character
of Lenny Cox in Wallop Mrs Cox at the Birmingham Rep. He has twice
performed alongside Frank Bruno in pantomime and, teamed up with
Julian Clary in Cinderella at the Birmingham Hippodrome. Malcolm,
who has also danced with the Royal Ballet, lives in Worcestershire
with his wife Maxine, and two sons Elliott and Oliver. He is an
ardent fan of West Bromwich Albion Football Club.
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